sunny happy days

As I sit in the 9am sunshine in elephant and castle waiting for my ballet class and an hour early.. I think about how one. I'm always stupidly early because the thought of being late stresses me out. is that weird? and two  - about how rushed and manic all the business men look storming down the tube on their way to work. 

This week I walked out of hellfridges (selfridges) for the LAST time. GOODBYE TOPSHOP. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a bloody good feeling. infact, think I almost did a little step ball change out the door. almost.

In other exciting news... it is my BIRTHDAY WEEK. YESSSSS. I LOVE birthdays... attention, love, food, drinks, presents... all for you? because you were born? who wouldn't love that?

Life is pretty good right now. Auditions have been pretty quiet but they seem to be picking up again. I used to worry when they were quiet... ? now I've realised it's all about managing your time well. and now when it is a little dead, I use my time to work on my skills and train harder. I think it's pretty easy to get stuck in a mundain routine, exactly the reason why I'm trying so many different classes at pineapple. even ones I know I am 99% sure I look like a stiff log in, but you got to be challenged right? otherwise your just going to classes for the sake of it. and what's the point in that?

It still confuses me life. I think that's part of growing up. well that's what my mum says anyway?

I read a good quote this week that I shall share - 'Just because you miss someone, doesn't mean they deserve to be in your life.' 

True that. Even if you really wish they were, or want them to be. Life is about lessons, just like the ones at school. but these ones aren't times tables or learning about a metaphor - these ones are REAL and they teach you something about you. every single day. that's exciting.

my second one comes from mummy summer  - 'The harder the climb, the sweeter the success' MY FAVOURITE.

If you believe in yourself and are patient enough to keep working. then you will do well in life. because to be honest... whose stopping you? I've learnt not to feel pressure anymore? I think as performers we have such a liability to compare ourselves to others and worry. what's the point? I stopped doing that when I left college. and it is the BEST thing I have ever done. some people wait 5 years until they get their lucky break? so for now, I think I'm doing alright. :-)

Good things don't come to those who wait, they come to those who work their arse off every single day and make it happen. 

General highlights of the week? ... the fruit man in tooting calling me babe, leaving shitshop, the SUN, a BBQ, dinner with a great friend and as always - my entire tuesday spent at pineapple. 

Right now, I'm a huge fan of life. lucky me.

Happy days

Milly Summer. X

in order to be irreplaceable, one must be different.

Blog number 6? can't remember, actually going to stop counting now because we all know im too scatty to keep track. crazy how much in a week i whip out my little brown notebook to scribble down ideas and thoughts and when i actually do sit down for ten minutes to write this all out i have too much to fit in and never enough time. like my life in general. time is PRECIOUS. fact.

Guess I should stop blabbing then and write... Ok - auditions (wahey) to be honest pretty dead at present. jesus i sound like such a performer now. joy. but it's true - had one last week for a show in hong kong, burlesque type audition, my favourite.... not. 

I did make an interesting observation though at this one - i need to do TOWIE. that's right - the only way is essex look in auditions, seems to be the one. apparently all the girls that apply fake tan, wear false lashes, cover themselves in make up and get their body out, do quite well? then there's me - pale, huge frizzy hair (still no hairbrush purcahsed note to self.) slap dash of make up on, well red lipstick pretty much... and some baggy topshop tee shirt than i reckon is 'tight' when tucked into hotpants. fail. i'm working on it.

in other exciting news - i quit topshop. YES... goodbye hellfridges, sorry selfridges. no more standing picking up clothes or shoes for people, no more days spent sirening songs bored out of my mind. the only downside to this - is the fact i'm leaving behind some pretty epic people. special that.

my new job is in a BAR. what a skill... who knew that you have to pour beers a certain way? not smash every glass you pick up and that there are over 30 different wines... well so far it's going ok. it means i have my days free to trainnnnn and hit the gym and class.... so once again my non happening musical theatre career means i work the anti social hours of a peanut. GRAND. plus - the staff are pretty much all hot fashionable guys. so it's a win win situation? right?

on this note - it WILL all be worth it. never give up on something that you really want. it is difficult to wait for it but i think it is more difficult to regret. if you give up that is. and wanky as this may sound - giving up and myself just don't go hand in hand.  the harder the climb the sweeter the success. yeah i did.

it's always funny how things, people, peoples opinions and their thoughts on you just suddenly don't really matter anymore. and how over time you just finally figure out that some people really aren't worth it. sad i suppose but good at the same time too. i have wasted too much time in my life caring and trying to be everyones friend - now i realise all that matters is the very precious ones i have around me. my housemates alone - three individual fantastic people. who keep me motivated, happy and self assured. and i feel very lucky about that. 

because at the end of the day - LIFE.IS.SHORT. if you don't like your job - quit if you don't enjoy someone's company - leave. i am a positive person and that means i make the decision to be surrounded by positive people. easy enough. there's plenty of alright people worth your time around. im sure of it.

in september my blossom and i are planning to go to L.A - to spend almost an entire month TRAINING. EVERYDAY... doing CLASS. the thought of being in an american studio with hot commercial male dancers... makes every penny worth it... and let's be honest. a trip like this will hopefully fill us both with inspiration, excitement and good karma. just like thailand and the buddha did for us. and i think that's pretty important every now and again. like strawberry laces, or buying branded heinz beans instead of sainsbury basics, or drinking good wine and eating, well pretty much anything. makes me smile anyway.

Too many people go through their life waiting for things to come their way and happen.WRONG. if you want something then YOU have to make it happen. 

no day but today.

Summer x