Guess I should stop blabbing then and write... Ok - auditions (wahey) to be honest pretty dead at present. jesus i sound like such a performer now. joy. but it's true - had one last week for a show in hong kong, burlesque type audition, my favourite.... not.
I did make an interesting observation though at this one - i need to do TOWIE. that's right - the only way is essex look in auditions, seems to be the one. apparently all the girls that apply fake tan, wear false lashes, cover themselves in make up and get their body out, do quite well? then there's me - pale, huge frizzy hair (still no hairbrush purcahsed note to self.) slap dash of make up on, well red lipstick pretty much... and some baggy topshop tee shirt than i reckon is 'tight' when tucked into hotpants. fail. i'm working on it.
in other exciting news - i quit topshop. YES... goodbye hellfridges, sorry selfridges. no more standing picking up clothes or shoes for people, no more days spent sirening songs bored out of my mind. the only downside to this - is the fact i'm leaving behind some pretty epic people. special that.
my new job is in a BAR. what a skill... who knew that you have to pour beers a certain way? not smash every glass you pick up and that there are over 30 different wines... well so far it's going ok. it means i have my days free to trainnnnn and hit the gym and class.... so once again my non happening musical theatre career means i work the anti social hours of a peanut. GRAND. plus - the staff are pretty much all hot fashionable guys. so it's a win win situation? right?
on this note - it WILL all be worth it. never give up on something that you really want. it is difficult to wait for it but i think it is more difficult to regret. if you give up that is. and wanky as this may sound - giving up and myself just don't go hand in hand. the harder the climb the sweeter the success. yeah i did.
it's always funny how things, people, peoples opinions and their thoughts on you just suddenly don't really matter anymore. and how over time you just finally figure out that some people really aren't worth it. sad i suppose but good at the same time too. i have wasted too much time in my life caring and trying to be everyones friend - now i realise all that matters is the very precious ones i have around me. my housemates alone - three individual fantastic people. who keep me motivated, happy and self assured. and i feel very lucky about that.
because at the end of the day - LIFE.IS.SHORT. if you don't like your job - quit if you don't enjoy someone's company - leave. i am a positive person and that means i make the decision to be surrounded by positive people. easy enough. there's plenty of alright people worth your time around. im sure of it.
in september my blossom and i are planning to go to L.A - to spend almost an entire month TRAINING. EVERYDAY... doing CLASS. the thought of being in an american studio with hot commercial male dancers... makes every penny worth it... and let's be honest. a trip like this will hopefully fill us both with inspiration, excitement and good karma. just like thailand and the buddha did for us. and i think that's pretty important every now and again. like strawberry laces, or buying branded heinz beans instead of sainsbury basics, or drinking good wine and eating, well pretty much anything. makes me smile anyway.
Too many people go through their life waiting for things to come their way and happen.WRONG. if you want something then YOU have to make it happen.
no day but today.
Summer x
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